Heart Failure
by Anti-Zombie
Summary: Inori can't take the pain from a heart that doesn't hurt. Kakuzu can't take his irritating partner. Hidan can't take... well acting sane. What happens when the Zombie Brothers meet a young ninja with an intrest in Jashin? Rated for language.


The setting of this story is after Hidan kills Asuma. The beginning of the story takes place where the fight between Hidan, Kakuzu, Kakashi, Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru happened in the anime/manga… minus the stupid Dickamaru and his team.

Enjoy the emo parade and Hidan's lovely language. Oddly my OC here has just about as bad of a sailor mouth as he does. x3

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Chapter I - The Bird that Doesn't Sing

- Inori's POV -

She couldn't take it anymore. It was simply that. Her heart didn't hurt and it scared her so much all she could do was run. Her mother had hit her again in a fit of anger. It hadn't hurt that much, but the fact that it didn't bother her, but made her cry worried her. It was confusing, as if her heart was a broken toy. Wasn't she supposed to hurt? She could feel the emotions, but they didn't come from a hole in her chest or a shattered organ. Her ribs were supposed to be like a bird cage, keeping that feeble organ in her chest no matter if it sang in joy or screamed in pain. That bird in her chest didn't sing and that hurt more than the pain that should have been there.

Inori focused chakra in her feet as she ran so that she covered the ground in great bounds. The land she fled through was a wasteland of massive, decaying trees littering a barren ground, but it seemed even out here she couldn't truly flee. Two figures ahead to her right had spotted her. Inori leapt onto the side of one of the trees and with haste moved up towards a stone colored limb. One seemed to be pleading with the other, making dramatic movements and swinging his odd weapon around. Inori gripped where her heart beat again, still testing for the pain that came from everywhere, but it. By the time she looked up the two had turned towards her direction, moving at a lazy pace. 'Great, just great," she hissed to herself before leaping from the branch. What would it matter anyway… if they planned to kill her, what would it matter? Honestly, death sounded so appealing. So easy. All she had to do was approach them. Maybe that would be enough and they'd cut her down. The end.

- Hidan's POV -

It had been a good couple of days. They hacked down a Konoha ninja, got some interesting information on the jinchuurikin, and Kakuzu had gotten money from a bounty. Now Hidan and Kakuzu were on their way back to the Akatsuki base, both pleased despite Hidan irritating Kakuzu with random complaints. However, just as Hidan had settled down into a quiet pace he noticed someone nearby, chasing them? Or had the ninja just stumbled upon them? Either way…

"Oi, Kuzu, can I go kill whoever the fuckin' hell's following us?" Hidan tugged on the cloak of his partner as he began thinking up which ritual would be most pleasing to his god, Jashin. "One, stop calling me that. Two, I don't care. Just hurry it up and get your stupid God's sacrifices done with." The larger man muttered something about 'false god' and 'stupid Hidan' before following after the albino. She'd spotted them and he had prepared to chase her down, but it seemed she was up for a fight. He watched the young girl jump from the tree and land in waiting. Hidan began to uncoil his scythe and chuckle as she made her way towards them. This would be a piece of cake and Jashin would enjoy another sacrifice.

- Inori's POV -

What luck, they did plan on killing her. She eyed the scythe warily at first before looking back at the man's face. He wore an odd black cloak with red clouds on it, as did the other. The front of the cloak was open to give her a good view at his chest were both a Mist Village hitai-ate hung and a conspicuous pendant. Inori narrowed her eyes at the man before her before glancing at his partner. He also wore a cloak, but his was fully closed and all but two strange eyes were hidden by a mask. She couldn't hold back a chuckle, however dead the emotion was. "What the hell are you laughin' at bitch?" The purple-red eyed man snapped. Inori tilted her head and pointed with a thin finger to Kakuzu's face, "He has Christmas eyes." The two men glanced at each other and after a moment of silence Hidan grabbed his waist with one arm while pointing at his partner with the other, laughing hysterically, "I told you, ya fuckin' miser!" Inori's face became somber, she was hurting again, but her chest stayed silent. The taller man shoved Hidan onto his ass and stormed past him and Inori with a scowl. She couldn't quell the sound that choked up her throat as strange tentacles flew from the cloaked man and wrapped around her throat. Inori lifted her hands more out of instinct than actually trying to get free. "You know… I actually need another heart. Why not stock up with yours…" He grinned (probably) under the mask darkly.

Inori's eyes settled on his at the mention of the defective organ. Her fingers tightened on the fibers she could now classify as threads. Kakuzu finally reached her and grabbed her chin in his hand, looking down at her with cold (Christmas) eyes. "Why don't you go ahead and cry? Make an old man happy." She released one hand's grip on the slowly chocking threads and gripped her shirt where her heart was. "Go ahead and take it…"

- Hidan's POV -

'This bitch's in for it now!' Hidan grinned inwardly before being roughly shoved to the ground by his now infuriated partner. The Jashinist snickered a few more times before standing and dusting himself off. "Go ahead. This is worth missing a ritual for!" Hidan laughed and walked over to the two, standing a few feet to the side of them to enjoy the show. The look in her eyes brought up a bit curiosity. It wasn't sorrowful, angered, not even defiant. She seemed to actually be considering it! Her words confirmed it.

Kakuzu's eyebrows shot up for a moment before it switched back to the blank default. He shrugged and threads positioned themselves above her heart, but suddenly Hidan wrapped a hand around the black fibers. "Why so eager to die?" Kakuzu rolled his eyes and released his grip on her throat, stepping back with a low mutter under his breath. Hidan crossed his arms and watched the girl with his unique eyes.

- Inori's POV -

The moment he asked that tears welled to her eyes and the moment the threads released her throat she fell to her knees, not bothering to hold herself up. Suddenly the dam broke and she couldn't hold back those damned emotions. "Because it's fucking defective! It's supposed to feel, to hurt, but it doesn't! No matter what happens I feel the pain, but I can't find the source of it. This useless organ does nothing, it's always silent, always taunting! Just rip it out and save me the damn trouble!" She slammed a fist into the ground, tears more of anger than sorrow rolling down her cheeks. Hidan just stood and smiled, pleased with the language while Kakuzu stood boredly to the side, arms crossed and eyes closed.

Was the man just going to leave her like this? Why didn't they just end it for her already? Inori snatched a kunai from her pocket and lunged at Hidan. He hadn't bothered to move and the blade sunk into his heart. The half-albino just shoved her away. Inori looked up at him darkly, but her face turned to disbelief. Hidan muttered something about 'crazy bitches' and pulled out the blade before tossing it aside. "Yours is broken too… or am I just losing it…" "No. I'm just immortal and Kakuzu has fucking five of them he stole from some useless shits. Guess you're talking to the wrong damn people about hearts, eh? I actually get pleasure out of the pain, tch, all in the name of Lord Jashin." "Shut up Hidan. We're going to be late and I'm not paying for hotel rooms."

Immortal? Pleasure from pain? Jashin? Inori's arms quivered as she hunched over, still sitting on the ground after being throw there by Hidan. If his heart was harmed it brought him… pleasure? How was that possible? "Lucky bastard," she growled lowly, "you… you're so god damned lucky!" Hidan looked at her with a face twisted in disgust, "God damned? I would hope so. Lord Jashin wouldn't be to pleased with me if that fake shit favored me!" He placed a hand on the pendant I'd been looking at before. "L-Lord Jashin?" Hidan looked down as Inori's eyes once again traveled to his. There was an almost… crazed smiled on his face and his eyes were lit up in some form of sick joy. "Want me to tell you more?"

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Kakuzu: That's it. No hotels, you can sleep outside if you get tired Hidan

Me: Hope you guys like my first submission… and don't mind Santa over here.

Kakuzu: *mutters darkly*


End file.
